Winter's Illusion
by M.P-chan
Summary: On the anniversary of his father's death, Kaito remembers. "When Toichi came, Kaito would be able to see him coming."


**M.P-chan:** Hey all, this is my first non-romance fanfiction. Surprisingly, as much as I love fluff, this is my current favorite of my own fanfics. It's a story I really like, so I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it! By the way, please, please, please, review. My newest fanfictions have little to no reviews, and I can't write or change anything if people don't tell me what they think. Reviews DO make a difference! So please R+R!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Magic Kaito by Gosho Aoyama. Gosho Aoyama obviously does. This AWESOME song (please listen to it, it's a wonderful song!) is Fuyu no Maborashi composed and written and sung by Yasunori Hayashi for his solo project Acid Black Cherry. The translations were found for me by a friend, and are supposedly by a fan named Kiku (so all thanks and credit goes to her, k?). I own absolutely nothing. Accept this fic. Steal it and we'll have a very angry M.P-chan on our hands.

**Winter's Illusion**

Kaito awoke to beeping of his alarm clock. Normally he woke moments before it it rang, so he could hit the snooze button and retreat beneath for the covers for while before Aoko or his mom came in and forced him out of bed with a "You're going to be late . . . again." Not that he was ever late. He always made sure to appear in his seat seconds before the bell in a puff of colored smoke.

He blinked and looked out his window. His mother had drawn back the curtains and it was strange that the sun hadn't woken him up. The sky was coated in a thick layer of gray clouds. Even so, it was still very bright out. Snow covered the ground and trees and rooftops, turning the neighborhood into a gingerbread town look-alike.

_The first snow of the year. It figures it would be today . . . ._

He yawned, intending to be lazy . . . but remembered his mom wouldn't force him out of bed. Not today. Today was the one day his mother never got on his case about anything. Which meant it was the one day he would make sure not to do anything that would have normally caused her to scold him.

He got out of his bed, taking his shirt off as he did, and headed for the bathroom to take a shower. He didn't eat breakfast. He didn't think he'd be able to keep the food down.

He changed into the semi-formal suit Aoko had picked out for him, and combed and gelled his hair back. He cleaned up pretty darn good he decided. He looked like a proper magician. He looked like his father.

There was a soft knock at this door. It wouldn't be his mother. "Come in," he called softly to the door. It wasn't his mother.

Aoko stood there looking lovely in a black lace dress, her soft, brown hair was braided in pigtails and she wore a garnet brooch with diamonds. Her grandmother's, Kaito knew. "She wasn't going to come get you, but I figured I should come for you early so she wouldn't have to worry," she said. Aoko didn't have to explain what she meant.

Kaito took one last look at the only photo on his bedside table before he took Aoko's hand in his and walked out with her to wait for his mother.

_Your picture is laughing_

_With that smile I loved_

_As November's dawn broke_

_You began your journey to Heaven . . . _

They didn't have to wait. As if she knew Kaito was already getting ready to leave, Mrs. Kuroba opened her door to join them. She also wore a black dress, though she had matching gloves. Mrs. Kuroba wore her wedding ring, as she always did, along with a set of pearl earrings and necklace. "Wait for me to get my coat, and we'll walk there together," she said.

Aoko and Mrs. Kuroba both wore coats. Kaito did not.

The snow in Tokyo had a strange course. It snowed early in November for a few days, and a week later it had all melted in the last warm sunny weather before the Holiday season. This was called first snow. Normally the snow returned in time for Chritmas, but it wasn't unheard of to not have any until the new year.

This was the first snow of the year. The literal first snowfall. And while Kaito loved snow, he never liked first snow. Because his dad had.

If Kaito was cold, he didn't let his mother or Aoko know. In truth, he was freezing his butt off. It was snowing much harder than it had when he had woken up. Aoko was delighted, he knew, though she wouldn't let show until after the service. She would make him make her a snowman the size of her house, just because she knew he could. Aoko didn't know Kaito didn't like first snow.

Truth be told, he couldn't tell her the reason he didn't like snow. Not that she wouldn't understand, but that he couldn't find the words. The first snow was special; majestic. Something shining that inspired awe. A gorgeous miracle that disappeared without a trace all too soon, just like the man who had loved it. Just like how a snow flake melted the second it touched your hand, Toichi Kuroba's life had ended, a candle blown out in the breeze.

It was too ironic that Kaito's father had been born in early November. Even more ironic that he had died then too.

_I stuffed my hands into my shirt, weakened by the cold_

_Since it made you cheerful, I loved winter . . ._

_Flurries of snow, don't stop falling_

_Don't vanish in the palm_

_Since our too-fickle lives cross over one another_

_With a wavering voice and shaking hands_

_I'm still searching for you_

As they approached his father's grave, the snow stopped. There was already a large crowd. His father had been a world famous magician, and even now he was still considered the best that had ever been, at least professionally. Every year, followers flocked to this site for a memorial service. There were always new and familiar faces. Toichi Kuroba had always loved a crowd.

Looking at all these people it was easy to remember the first time they had dressed in black. His father's funeral and burial. And even before that . . . . .

* * * * * * *

Kaito looked up at the man next to him. A gentle giant, at least from his point of view, which was understandable as Kaito was at the still-short age of nine. Toichi was grinning as he scanned the cloudy sky. "It's coming, Kaito."

"Huh? What's coming, father?"

"The first snow. When it comes, I'll take the day off so we can play together."

"Mother won't like me skipping school." But even as he said it, he was grinning the same as his father. They were going to drive mother _crazy_. And love every minute of it.

"Hogwash. Call it an 'extracurricular activity'. After all, I'm going to teach you that snow magic you've been asking for." Toichi winked down at him.

Kaito's face lit up with excitement. "Really? You're finally going to teach me?"

"Of course! But we're going to have to wait for first snow. As soon as it comes, I'll be here. Promise."

Kaito looked up skeptically. "Magician's honor?"

"Magician's honor."

* * * * * * *

_Since I'm such a crybaby and a coward_

_I have to find you soon_

_Even though it should have been nowhere to be found_

_The scent of winter came upon me_

_While complaining with "it's so cold . . . ." as if I were utterly a child_

_Since I was clinging to you, I loved winter . . ._

_I can't find you_

"Kaito, they're lowering the casket, come say goodbye." said the newly widowed, Mrs. Kuroba to her son Kaito, who was sitting alone on a hill a short distance from the burial site. Her face was covered with a black veil to hide her tear-streaked face, though she wasn't sure if she was hiding her tears from Kaito or herself. It didn't matter. Neither of them were fooled.

Kaito was sitting alone at the very top of the small hill, looking up as the the very first snowflakes started to drift downward and land in his hair. From the hill he could see far away in every direction, his sight broken only by a few trees planted here and there in the cemetary. When Toichi came, Kaito would be able to see him coming.

"I can't. I'm waiting for father."

Kaito's mother sucked in a sharp breath. The cold air stung her lungs, but it was nothing to compared to the sudden throbbing ache in her breast. "Kaito, your father's not coming. He can't come. He's sorry, but he can't. He's dead."

"I need to stay. I need to wait for father."

Mrs. Kuroba clapped a hand over her mouth to try to muffle a sob and turned back down the hill to rejoin the ceremony. She would be back later with blankets and hot cocoa, but not until the end of the funeral when it would be too dark to see and Kaito was ready to accept them.

At nine years old, Kaito knew what death was. He was well aware that his father was dead. But he also knew that his father's secret pride was that he had never broken a promise. And Kaito knew Toichi wouldn't let a pesky little thing like death keep him from keeping this promise either. Toichi never came.

Kaito didn't sleep that night. He was still waiting. And when morning came, he was still waiting. After all, it was still snowing.

It continued to snow for three days. Kaito waited three days. He did not sleep. And when the last snowflakes fell, Kaito lay his head down, and plunged into unconsciousness. He dreamed for a very long time. He dreamed that time stopped and while Toichi was still dead, his memory was not drifting farther away. Kaito's father was still vibrant and colorful and dead.

_So torn by the the pain I can't sleep_

_"I want to see you . . ." I can't keep down these feelings of wanting to see you anymore_

_Not leaving them behind even in my wildest dreams, silently weeping_

_I'm searching for you still_

_If there is a God somewhere_

_If miracles really do happen_

_If just one of my wishes can come true_

_Let me see you just once more_

_Since even if it's just an illusion, it's okay . . ._

* * * * * * *

On the first anniversary of Toichi Kuroba's death, Kuroba didn't bring mittens to the service.

He stayed and heard many people talk about his father and what a great man he had been, and Kaito loved hearing people praise his father. But it got old eventually. After all, Kaito already knew his father had been a great man.

When he got bored, Kaito went to the hill. It was the closest place to the sky there. It was snowing again, though it hadn't just started. It had already been snowing for days.

Kaito wasn't sad that Toichi was dead. He just missed him. He still wasn't used to his father not being there on the holidays and weekends, on his birthday, on TV. He'd replayed conversations he had had with his father hundreds of times in his head. Partly, out of reference, he'd decided long before Toichi had died to follow in his footsteps as a magician and still practiced magic whenever he could, and partly out of nostalgia. He'd never found out the secret to his father's snow magic.

Snow Magic was basically the magic of creating snowfall. During the brief breaks in snowfall would have been a perfect time for a beginner like Kaito to practice it. That was why Toichi had waited until first now. Kaito raised his hands to the sky dramatically. _Abracadabra._

It didn't stop snowing and it didn't snow harder. It didn't do much of anything. Kaito sighed. It was a good first attempt he supposed. A magician could perform any trick if he understood the mechanics and theory. Kaito had no idea how his father had done it. His father had taught him a lot, but he hadn't taught him everything, and when he had died, it seemed the magic died with him. There were no notes, no tools, nothing. It was alright, Kaito decided. It left Kaito free to make his own illusions.

Snow was magical Kaito decided. A nonromantic would call it frozen rain. But to him, from a magician's point of view, it was a marvel. And like all magic, it ended. The curtain would drop and the applause would die.

Kaito walked home without waiting for the service to end. His hands were cold.

_Flurries of snow, don't stop falling, don't vanish in the palm of my hand_

_In vain . . . my voice is unbearable_

_Even if it's just in a dream, I don't care, I want to see you again_

_I want to gently offer my warmth to you_

_I can't find you_

* * * * * * *

Aoko's hand on his shoulder pulled Kaito out of reminiscence. "You should talk today." People took turns talking about Toichi Kuroba and his life and work. Kaito had talked every year since he turned 12.

Kaito shook his head. "Not today. I'm going let the others have a chance to speak."

"Well," Aoko let the subject drop, and then growing a little shy, she said, "Kaito, would you _please_ make me a snowman? A big one?"

Kaito laughed. "Sure, I'll make you one. But wait until this afternoon."

Aoko smiled, pleased that she was getting her snowman. "That's alright, but you _will_ make me one. Or Mr. Fins is going to pay you a visit . . ." Kaito shivered. That crazy girl of his and her fish of evil.

Picking up a handful of snow, it quickly melted and dripped through his finger onto the snow below his feet.

Snow melted into water that returned to the earth, just as Toichi's body had returned to the earth. It was only when the snow had melted and spring had come that you saw that the water had fed seeds and turned them into flowers. He hadn't know back then, but his father _had_ left him something.

He touched his pocket and could feel the cold glass of a monocle through the fabric. It was a gift worth more than any book of tricks. Toichi had left him an legacy of freedom. An out-of-jail card, if you will. The courage to break the rules to do what's right. Kaito's father had given him the power to protect the people he cared about so that when first snow came again, Kaito could remember to love it.

Seeing the hill in the distance, Kaito smiled. "Abracadabra." The snow began to fall.

_I'm trying to move on, little by little_

_But I won't forget you_

_If there are tears, I will not shed them_

_Since you live on in my heart_

_Reflected in this white scenery_

_Just like your smile that day . . ._

**M.P-chan:** Also, I wanted to thank, Kirite aka Chocolaty Taste for going over this fanfic and editing it for mistakes. Thanks a bunch! Yes, I'll write that Dark Shinichi fanfic for you and the sequel to the Evil KID fic soon, k?


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